Our Warped Family...

So...

I came to a conclusion this winter break:

Only a warped individual would fully appreciate the interactions that go on in our home.

Let me explain...

First, Chad grew up in a home of six kids. He was the youngest... but don't let it fool you he can hold his own! He was not the little picked on baby of the family, he turned it on anyone else he could!

His favorite game on the PLANET is Monopoly but it is not just the game. There is an entire feeling that goes hand in hand with the game. He becomes this different person. It becomes strictly business- no fun and games, he is here to win!

Now, as for myself, Monopoly has never been one of my favorites... (when the room around you turns thick as Chad announces that he is the banker and land lord.)

The boys pick up on the tenseness immediately, planning their defences as if we are now at war.

(Stupid me: Last time I read the instructions to the game "war" was not a key point...)

So as we begin Ashton quickly acquires all four railroad cards, Boardwalk, and a few other miscellaneous properties. I gain the best score in collecting groups of properties quickly then begin building hotels (this after Chad asks me how much money I have and quickly trades all I have for little red buildings- that stresses me out thinking I will hit one of Ashton's railroads and owe him $200.).

Taylor attains very little and Chad possesses all the opposite of Ashton. Chad quickly asks to trade even throwing in money as an extra bribe. Ash is dead set that there will be no business done with him. Tae backs this up- even though he is quickly loosing the game. Chad gives me most of his unusable property as we all drift through the game.

Until...

Tae hits one of my properties where he bankrupts himself.

He knows there will be no sympathy from Chad, so he looks adoringly to his Mom (sticking out his bottom lip...)

With puppy dog eyes he looks at me and asks in the most serious voice if he could trade sex for staying in the game.

(yes, our family games usually do take a warped turn)

I don't know to this day if my money bag took his dog up on the offer....

Beginning To Look A Lot Like...

So....

I was thinking today about Christmas.

What does Christmas mean to me?

In thinking about it, a thought came to me this week. I have a friend (one of my best friends in fact) her name is Fae. She is in her 80's, and she has cancer... again.

Fae is an amazing lady that I am truly a better person for knowing. I adore her! I think she is the most kind, loving, devoted, faithful woman on the planet.

I have been lucky enough to know her for the past 13 years. Each month I am able to talk to her and catch up on things. I have told her many things in confidence, knowing they never go anywhere. She is always supportive and loving. I look forward to our visits! She has been there for everything, the good, bad and the ugly...

This week, her daughter stopped by our home with a gift for Christmas from Fae. She made it a point to tell me that her mom is to ill right now to shop for anyone, but she requested that Cindy and her missionaries receive a gift, that was all that was important to her.

I cried.

So, what does Christmas mean to me?

Making someone, somewhere feel special.

Let's all do that this Christmas Season!

FOOT NOTE: Sadly, Fae passed away a few days after Christmas.

Endearing Moments....

There is something incredibly endearing about seeing your child interact with other children...

Last week, Taylor's 9th grade class was going to see "Body World", he was not interested in seeing it for a second time, so he asked to skip school instead of watching movies all day in class.

I agreed with him- informing him that he was not just to spend the day in front of the computer playing games, that he was to jump in and help. He was there to work, not play.

As the kids arrived, Tae's concern was very prevalent in the expression on his face. He was doubting himself and wondering what he had gotten himself into.

We did circle time and then pulled my class aside, this is when he started to get excited. Here is my darling son with these little ones that barely come up to his waist, looking up into his face and melting his heart, just like they did mine.

My class is all boys. (thank heavens that is what I know)

So, they became Jedi knights, Santa's, and astronauts leaping around the room with light saber balloons, rolling in the pile of leaves to de-contaminate, and circling the wagons to avoid instant disaster with the massive asteroid attack. It was so adorable to see the elation in their faces to have a new guy there entertaining them for the day!

I asked him after what he thought of the kids, he said, "Mom, you have the funnest job on the planet! When I grow up this is what I want to do too, come to school everyday and PLAY!"

Snoopy- Loopy

Sweetie...


Even on my rainiest of days...

You're always there for me.


Thank You!



oxoxox

A Spooky Thought!

So,

This morning I am taking Tae to school...

He is usually late, so Ash is at school when Tae gets around to being ready.

Anyhow...

On the radio I hear,"Listener Cindy is texting us that her 14 year old son just found out that his 13 year old girlfriend is pregnant."

I look at Tae, he looks at me.

I say, "Is there anything you want to tell me young man?"

Luckily it would never be my 14 year old in such a situation!

But, it sure made the ride to school interesting...

Templeton

So,

We have a new family that has moved into our humble abode...

Yes, it is fall in Utah and the temperature has dropped- and we have a huge yard (I can say that with confidence- I do the yard work!)

A family of mice has moved in.

This happens almost every fall, nothing new. Except the stand off in the kitchen this week.

Yes, standoff.

Here, let me explain.

So, Monday I am standing in the kitchen and hear a sound, look towards the storage closet and see a mouse looking at me. He is a nice looking mouse as far as mice go. Well fed perhaps, groomed well, the only problem is he is in MY house. So, the stand off begins (insert classic western standoff music here...)

I scream.

Why? I have no idea.

I am not one of those girls. I don't squeal. I don't get grossed out. I am not scared.

But- with the commotion both boys come running.

We trap Templeton (okay, yes we named him) in the closet with a broom whacking around randomly. What does he do? Runs out of the closet... do we blame him?

To which Ashton screams (like a girl I might add)

And poor Templeton is completely scared for his little life running around the kitchen Taylor whacking at him. He finally hid under the cabinets.

Now there is poison down.

Dum dum dum dum duuuuummmmmm...

Soon there will be a death, a few even.

So, yes there was a stand off but to my rival touche'... (so sorry)

I win!

Thanksgiving Weekend

So I have concluded that I am getting OLD...

Yes, *sigh* old.

My extended family all has Thanksgiving weekend at Snowbird together. When this tradition began there were very few of us (11). Now, the numbers have grown with families getting larger, it is a whopping 27! Most being "little people" making it LOUD and really fun!

This year my very patient cousin Greg and cousin- in- law Mark decided that they were going to teach the kids to ski. Tae and Ash were among those being taught. I tried a few years ago to teach them, but failed miserably vowing to never do it again.

Greg and Mark took them up to Alta teaching them in a day! (THANK YOU!!!)

So, we all decided to go up together, even my brother Doug getting involved in the action.

Here we are with the hundreds that also were skiing... The snow was a little slushy, and they were making more all along the run which really limited your vision. Doug and Tae went together (Tae bringing his red U hair making it possible to see him all down the mountain) and Ash and I went together. I quiz Ash making sure that he can get off the lift himself, and make it down the long run. He says yes he can. So we go up the lift. He made it off the lift fine. And we wait for Doug and Tae. When they arrive at the top I find out that they both ski with both skis downward praying people move out of the way. EEK!

Ash does really well! He is slower and very precise UNTIL...

He hits a patch where they are making snow which pelts out "snow turds" at 50mph, making everyone crash right there! Ash is one of them getting both skis off in the process. So, here I am standing in front of the machine with "snow" blasting out at me, trying to help Ash put on his skis, getting SOAKED! Shortly after this turns to ice. So, I have frozen ice chunks in my hair, dripping down my back! I am cold and frozen! To boot all I loose Ash! In the blinding mayhem he takes off down the hill.

I wait for him for the next 45 minuted FREEZING my butt off!!!

I was done.

1 run! Did me in...

Windburn and frost bite are not a fun day of skiing. My body HURTING in places I had forgotten were there!

When we get to the bottom, Doug is there with blood dripping off his chin, it seems that he has biffed it with his face taking the impact.

But the best part is... I can't wait to go again!!!

I Was Tagged X2!

My friend Melzie tagged me on her blog a few days ago- with a game of 2 Truths and A Lie:



Here are my 2 truths and a lie. Guess what you think is false... I'll confess what I have/have not done in a few days.

1. I am completely obsessed with flossing my teeth.



2. I have to sleep with my feet in socks with lotion.



3. I have been proposed to 14 times.


What is true and what is a lie? Any guesses?

Is A Kiss Just A Kiss?

So...

Today was INTERESTING at work...

I was getting the kids ready for nap time,

and we have one student (4 years old) that can put a sailor to shame.

So, his mom has a new boyfriend and it looks like he has heard some things-

We are sitting there and he asks me if I would like to hold him. (That means he would like me to hold him)

I am sitting there and he asks if I would like to F*@# him!

WHAT?!?!?!?

THEN (as if that is not enough...) He makes these noises like we are!

At this point I stand up and walk to my desk.

YIKES!

My Sentiment Exactally!

CONGRATS ASH!

So...

Ashton decided to run for 7th grade class officer this year, mostly because the job entitles you to a "cool sweater with your name on it".

Now, just to keep you up to date,

Ashton never went to elementary school with any of these kids! (I took him out of our school bounds to where I taught). He walked into the school this year knowing 1 other 7th grader!

So, over the weekend we made his poster, and I gave him some advice about running, we even debated pulling his name to the secretary position because he would be a write in.

Ashton took this very seriously, stopping people in the hall saying, "Hi, my name is Ashton I am running for vice president and I would really appreciate your vote!"

This is my child who's entire goal in kindergarten was to raise his hand and say ANYTHING!

Well, I get a phone call from Ash after school saying:

Ash: "Hi Mom! Guess who your talking to?"

Me: "Huh? Who?" (I thought the vote was NEXT week...)

Ash: The NEW 7th grade V.P.!!!"

CONGRATS ASH I am very proud of you my copper top!!!

Bottoms Up!

Rowan is a little girl who only has partial vision in our program.

She LOVES to sing!

She also made me re-think my hair style this week...

I was sitting on the floor, singing songs during circle time minding my own business- when Rowan comes walking into my room. She heard the singing and wanted to join in.

She finds me and feels the back of my hair informing me that she feels a duck's bottom.

A DUCK'S BUT!!!

Okay maybe spiky curls in the back would feel like a ducks butt...

But, who wants to hear that?

Even worse? The rest of the day, every time she heard me...

she quacked!

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

So...

Today I got an interesting surprise!

I am at school and out of the blue one of the kids in my class says, "Can I have a kiss?"

Me: (not thinking) "Sure, Noah!"

He proceeds to give me this slobbery, goobery kiss all over my cheek. (more lick than kiss)

YUCK! (did I mention I am a germ-o-phob?)

Me: (shocked & speechless) "Why... thank you Noah!"

Noah: "I love you!"

Me: "I love you too little buddy."

(Then I discretely grab the Purell and sanitize my cheek)

Get The Orange!!!

I was just reminded of another funny family memory:

A few years ago the boys and I went to Vegas to meet & catch up with "Auntie Twin" (love you Kathy!!) We were going to spend the weekend with her and her mom.

Anyhow, we had reservations at a hotel on the strip so it took awhile to find the parking lot.

The drive was a long hot one, with little boys, and we were all anxious when we finally got there.

While going to check in I figured we would grab a load for the room, making the trips to and from the car less hectic. As we hit the spinning door I dropped an orange that rolled to the outer side of the door- picking up speed as it went. The fancy lobby was full of people rushing back and forth. All I could picture in my head was a swanky lady in high hills stepping on the orange and falling spread eagle on the marble floors!

With my arms full and Ash's Scooby Doo suitcase the only thing in his pudgy little hands I said, "Grab the orange!" He went scooting out the open door right after the orange- across the fancy marble floor. All eyes on us! I was mortified!

From that moment on whenever we are in a predicament, we quote,

"Grab the orange!"

My Week...

Well...

My week has been CRAZY!

I was asked by the blind department of USDB (Utah Schools for the Deaf and Blind) to take over teaching in the pre-school program.

All three teachers were fired at the close of the last school year, and they hired three new teachers. However, one was put on probation one week into the new school year!

I have been placed in this position as a "long- term substitute teacher" because Utah is in the middle of a hiring freeze. I have been guaranteed the position with the agreement that they will pay for my teaching certificate and blind/deaf endorsements.

Working with the deaf kids for almost ten years has been extremely rewarding and I have incredible relationships with my past students, that I love and adore. But BLIND?

My only experience is the limited I have with Corbin.

So, I started two weeks ago Thursday totally unprepared! I didn't even know what was in the boxes in the bookcase! But by this week I am completely organized, have tons of awesome toys, I have had my first Braille class, and even have lesson plans and a schedule. It helped to have my guys come and help move furniture around and clean.

I have spent the past week holding my breath, praying that I can be a positive difference in these very challenged kids lives, staying sane at the same time.

Chad says only the last part is in question... but questions if I was ever sane at any time. (ha ha)

Keep you posted...

Corby's New Word!

So...

My cute Corby was sitting with Chad and I.

We were just chilling on the couch watching a movie.

All of a sudden Corby says,

"Mum, I want ravioli." (wav-e-oh-ye)

I looked at Chad and grinned. He heard it too.

I said, "Corby, do you want ravioli?"

He said, "Baa!"

So I got him ravioli and a bottle.

Toooooo Cute! Not to bad for a baby not yet 2!

Brace Face-

So...

My baby got braces this week!

Braces AND a little girl/stalker at school!

And I quote, "I like you a lot a lot a lot & I'll tell you why your hair is lushes (luscious) golden bronze and the way you do it it is so cool looking, you have shiny happy eyes, your clothes omgosh!! They are so cool..."

It's not that I DON'T agree...

It's just *gulp!!!* what has happened???

This is my baby that has a girl/ stalker who thinks he is luscious!

I have a feeling that this is only the beginning....

Is It Christmas Early?

Yesterday my sweet Chad surprised me with a string of pearls...

for no reason!

Then because I have been a shut in for the past few days due to new braces and a sick baby-

He brought me home Sexy (Sex in the City)....

And tonight is the season opener of "Lipstick Jungle" what more could a girl ask for???

Retainer Day... Ouch!!!

Today was orthodontist day...

and yes,

Ash got his retainer.

It is red and glows in the dark.
(what a relief we won't loose it in the dark!)

Needless to say he cannot close his mouth anymore and he is hard to understand.

Luckily, he doesn't wear it at school.

Only 6 months and counting...

Saturday Night Live

Tonight begins another season of Saturday Night Live. I adore New York City and cannot count the times I have been there. I love everything about it! But with the season opener a few hours away I thought I would share my favorite memory from Saturday Night Live!

As many of you know I have single parenting down pat. With so many life changes all at once, my kids had some major separation anxiety. My solution... we all slept in the same bedroom for a little over a year. The kids started out in the bed with me, but they could really pack a punch- so I kicked them out onto the floor.

One Saturday night, I had SNL on in the background, while the kids were trying to go to sleep.

Taylor heard the header, "Tonight's musical guest is The Bare Naked Ladies!!!"

I didn't think anything about it, but Taylor (age 4) laid there for almost an hour fighting sleep.

Finally he heard it, "Ladies and Gentlemen: The Bare Naked Ladies!!"

Taylor shoots out of his bed and jumps to the TV. In the most discussed voice he says, "They are not bare naked and they are not even ladies!!"

He then laid back down and was asleep in seconds.

Enjoy tonight's season opener with Michael Phelps!!!

Our Pumpkin Patch...

So another week has come and gone at our home.

The latest here (just in case any of you wanted to know)
is that I am a murderer.

Ashton has been SO MAD at me because I am allowing the pumpkin patch to die!

We have counted over 25 pumpkins in our patch this summer, but because of the drop in temperature the vines are dying. I told Ash that this is just what happens, but he is certain I have no idea what I am talking about.

On Tuesday while I was in class, he informed my mom that I was a terrible gardener because the pumpkins were dying.

On Wednesday while at dinner with some friends he informed them that I was letting the pumpkins die.

On Thursday while talking to some neighbors about our block party he told them that I was a murderer.

On Friday I came home to find the water had been running in the garden for over an hour. But no one knows who turned it on.



Sounds very mysterious to me....

Excuse Me Sir, You Seem To Have A Caterpillar On Your Upper Lip

So-

Taylor has this little patch of hair on his upper lip that he has NAMED!
Yes, he has named it (it is his new friend- thankfully it doesn't eat much)

The fuzz is referred to as "Larry".

Before school started I asked him if by chance "Larry" was also starting school...
much to my dismay it turns out that yes, "Larry" did start school also.

Now I know that your thinking Oh well a little patch of fuzz what's the prob.
Well... every time he drinks ANYTHING it sticks to it.

Milk makes "Larry" white
Chocolate milk makes "Larry" brown
Lemonade makes "Larry" yellow
and the best... (drum roll please)

is fruit punch makes "Larry" red- AND it stays until he washes it off!

Well...

Hope "Larry" is comfy cause I think one of these nights "Larry" just might have a little "accident".

Things Are Not Always As They Seem...

So...

Chad and I were in separate cars going to the same place.
I was in my car behind him. We were getting on the freeway in rush hour traffic.

I got his attention in the rear view mirror and signed to him that I am thirsty and I would like a coke.

***Now for all of you who are not deaf/HH the sign for coke comes from olden times when there was cocaine as an ingredient in coke. So the sign is like putting drugs into the crook of your arm.***

Well- without even thinking I sign this to him. He knows the sentence in sign- nothing new...

I pull forward and glance up to see this lady giving me the dirtiest look ever! In retrospect, from her perspective, I was asking the man in the car in front of me for drugs, as I was chasing down my drug dealer.

The moral of the story is to not jump to conclusions, things are not always as they seem.


P.S. I am happy I was not also asking for a Mountain Dew (the sign for that is your fingers in the position of a gun to your temple.)

A New School Year

So...

I am one of those mommy's that HATES school starting again.
I love the kids being home, swimming all summer long, and sleeping late.
School makes it all come to a crashing halt.

The older kids started school at Wasatch this year.
Brand new school, new lockers, new people.

(For those of you who don't know- Wasatch burned down 3 years ago they re-built it while Taylor went to a private school and Ashton was in elementary school)

There was no walk through due to the fact that it was closed to have workmen in it. No time to check out there the classes were, or to make sure our lockers opened.

Ashton got out of the car with tears in his eyes. Taylor was more positive but dreading it also. As I drove off (the sap I am) I started bawling. Wonder what the neighbors thought of that...

Ash has a smashing day! Met the "popular kids" who all welcomed him. (I knew that would happen) and Tae just kept to himself.

Day 2:

Mom was requested to go to school with the fellas to help them open their lockers that neither one could open themselves the first day. So, as we enter the building, there standing at Tae's locker are six cute girls (YES waiting for my darling son) So he turns his head to the side and says half whispering, "Mom keep walking, just keep walking!!" It is nice to know that I have now officially hit that point in my life where I am embarrassing to my son.

I recall being embarrassed of my parents, but it seems to me I had better reason... the old station wagon (UG!) the hair wrapped in curlers, or the flannel nightgown mom wore to drop me off with. I have done NONE of that for crying out loud!

As tempting as it was to plant a huge juicy kiss on his cheek I refrained, and went up to Ash's locker where I was more welcome.

As Ashton says, "I blame society!" or at least in this case school starting...

Thoughts From My 14 Year Old

We have had TONS to get done this week getting the kids ready for school.
As we are in the car running errands and picking up last minute items from the passenger seat comes this comment.

Taylor: "If you think about it the average person's life is really depressing."

Me: (Off in my own thought process) "Yeah?"

Taylor: (Not getting the reaction he was wanting) "If you think about it the average person's life
is really depressing."

Me: "What makes you say that?"

Taylor: "Well Mom think about it... you have to go to work everyday. So your always tired. If your lucky you engage in some sort of mating ritual once a week. Then once a year you go on vacation for a week. Then mating ends at 50! Your job at 60 and you just look forward to dying."

Me: (Thinking) Hmmm what do you say to that?

In that respect... I better enjoy my days, they are numbered!

The Lawyer, the Banker and the WHAT???

So....



Sundays we go to mom's for dinner. This has been a tradition since Chris died ten years ago. I needed it for sheer sanity.

I have hated Sunday's ever since.



Anywho...



Tonight we are chatting around the table waiting for my brothers Ken, Doug and Ashton to come upstairs and eat. They are glued to the Olympics.



Taylor is sitting there as my dad asks where the boys are. His reply is as follows...

"You mean the lawyer, the banker and the Italian gigalo?"





Now THERE is brotherly love.

Look at me... joining the rest of the world...

So....



I did it!



I am so weak!





So after months of my inbox compiling requests to join in on the facebook venture.



I did it!



In that fog of weakness I then joined a blog site too.

What am I thinking?



Why would anyone want to know about (gulp) me?



but-



I did it!





So everyone here I am totally naked and exposed to you all.

(if your smart you will turn your eyes now...lol)